Golden Rules of Farming Part 8

176. Never in your box of water fittings is just the one right sized joiner to fix a leaky pipe. You must use at least 5 fittings to create a metre long monstrosity that costs more than replacing the entire pipe.

177. In your many boxes of various nuts & bolts, there are only two sizes. Too big and too small.

178. Nothing tastes as good as the neighbours grass.

179. It is impossible to stay dry when fixing water leaks.

180. If you plan to fix a water leak and the short in the electric fence on the same afternoon, do the fence first. Wet boots makes for good sparks.

Welcome to the Hotel De Feedlote

Trained staff members

The Lobby office.

Greetings, and welcome to the Hotel De Feedlote, your premier pre embarkation resort for the discerning ovine. We trust your short stay with us will be pleasurable as we endeavour to meet your every whim and desire prior to your ocean cruise. Should anything not be to your satisfaction, please do not hesitate to make one of our many grounds staff aware of your concerns, and they will only be too happy to assist.

Ask an Aussie Farmer

Ever since I started this blog, and indeed, one the driving factors for doing so,  I have been saying how many outside of the farming community have no idea how or why we do what we do. Doesn't matter if it's lamb and beef producers, grain growers, horticulturists, beekeepers, wool growers, cotton growers, the list is endless, there are many misconceptions, untruths and general fairy tales around about our lives, both good and bad.

We can't rely on industry bodies to push our cases for us. We need to do it ourselves. Why? Because if we don't we let others speak for us or about us. And we've all seen how that can turn out.

So without further ado, I am proud to announce our little initiative. Ask An Aussie Farmer. A social media experiment where everyday Aussies can ask their farmers anything they like. It's been months in the making, and we have all the producers mentioned above willing and able to take questions and answer according to them. We are not sponsored nor limited by any bodies, organisations or agencies. Just a bunch of committed farmers and their supporters keen to tell people what they do.

We have 8 administrators to keep things in line, spanning from WA to Qld and even into the UK. As the page takes shape we hope to add in new bits and pieces, weekly polls, themes and who knows what else.
Five days in and we've hit 600 likers, with questions from honey, to cotton, shearing, garlic, fish, you name it, we hope to be able to answer it. So get on board and help out, either as an asker or an answerer or both.

Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/askanaussiefarmer

Twitter: @AAAFarmer

A Good Erection aka Mother Natures Second Cousin

I had this story all written out in my head before we'd even started,. It was going to be hilarious, full of what went wrong, what fell over and how husband and wife nearly came to blows. I don't know why I thought that, we work very well together most times. Maybe I was just thinking of what would be easiest to write about here. Maybe I was going off our previous experiences. Either way, what transpired was not what I expected.

While we were at the Mingenew Expo last year, we bought a skid shelter, at the once off, never to be repeated, special Friday showtime special price. "Good luck for you, good luck for me." (Bali regulars should understand that last bit, basically means we paid too much while thinking we got a good deal). The skid shelter is a metal dome frame, with a large canvas tarp stretched over it. Great for machinery covers, or as we were planning, trough covers or shade for feedlots. We already had a 12 x 24 metre permanent shelter we use as a machinery shed. It's been up for eight years, and only lost the tarp last year in a huge storm that started north of Geraldton and shellacked it's way down south before uprooting pretty much all of York and Northam. So not too bad, considering the constant wind we get here. But we did have a few dramas building that one. The frames had the wrong spiggots on, a couple of pieces were missing, and when we had to put the replacement tarp on, we were short staffed and struggled to get it up.



Golden Rules of Farming Part 7

#151. Always remember to put the draw bar pin in after backing up to whatever you are planning to tow.

#152. After remembering to put the drawbar pin in, also remember the clip that stops it bouncing out again as you go along. The trailer hitting the dirt as you drive off is annoying. The trailer hitting the dirt as you bounce along at 18 km per hour across the paddock is downright scary.

#153. Your new Smartphone and it's 12 volt car charger do not appreciate your trucks 24 volt cigarette socket.

#154. The dog that yaps all night stays silent in the yards.

#155. Never confuse your Iphone with your electric fence tester.

Drown the Bastard!!

On Saturday just gone I headed back out to Gabyon with a big delivery of troughs and water fittings. I had just got back Friday morning from being called out there Thursday for another fire. Luckily the rain killed it before I got there. It did flare up again Friday but another drenching saw it finished.

Trouble with stations is they are so bloody big. As I arrived to the house Helen came out and told us she'd just been called to say a new fire had started on our eastern boundary. Obviously the rain never reached that far. So Mike and Gemma took off while mysef and her brother Matt got the new fire unit I brought up on Thursday ready.

As we were heading out to the fire we could see the patchy showers coming over. The unknown was whether it would rain over the fire or not.


The country out there was a bit more open, meaning we could get in and too it without waiting for the loaders and graders, which were on their way, plus the grass wasn't as high. This fire was very tame compared to Thursdays and our first one. So it was a good chance to get some video of us in action. I'm driving, and my brother-in-law Matt is on the back. The last 3 minutes or so of the video shows the best way to put a fire out. We just need to work out how to make it happen more often. And not get bogged.

Fire on our Hold!! Fire on our Hold!!! Hey Michael!

Disclaimer: I've tried to remember this as best I can. It all got a bit blurry by the end. Oh, and there may be some course language. Actually, I can guarantee there will be.




While I would be happy if I never fight or see another fire in my life, I will admit to finding a slight thrill in them. Something to do with the sudden rush when you first see the smoke, the panicky hurling everything off the ute as you load up the unit and scream out towards the smoke, wondering whose it is, where it is and what's going to happen, hoping it's only grass and not near a shed or house. The frantic chasing down of the front, the heavy machinery madly trying to cut the blaze off, the way everyone drops everything to come help. It can be a rush. And judging by the way others seem to get what I call "fire crazy", I'm not the only one. Utes which you weren't allowed in without wiping your boots first become scrub bashing, fire chasing water carts from hell, with the normally fastidious owner tearing around with their windows down, sucking plumes of smoke, dust and ash into their once pristine interior.

Turns out the thrill soon wears off when it's your place though.

On the 1st December 2011, after the best season the rangelands had seen for God knows how long, lightning struck Gabyon Station. It also struck Meka Station, Murgoo and Melangata, as well as down near Paynes Find. Now normally, this isn't a problem. Being new to the area, we have been told fires just burn themselves out. Might burn a thousand acres or so. When the paddocks range from 3000 to 20 000 acres, so what? Quite often you won't even know there's been a fire out there until you come across a burnt patch mustering.

Not this time. The fire burned for nine days and by the time the all clear was given it had covered 103 000 hectares and we've been told cost FESA damn near a million dollars.